I may not have an avoidant attachment style but I have definitely dated my fair share of avoidant partners. If you have an anxious attachment style, there is a natural and strong attraction to those with an avoidant one, and a good chance you, too, have fallen for someone with this attachment style.

For many years I thought that those that I was attracted to were simply not “emotionally available,” and I held a lot of resentment towards them and their inability or unwillingness to connect. …

For many years, I didn’t know what a conscious relationship was. I thought that relationships were relationships and if they didn’t work out, it was probably the other person’s fault. If it wasn’t the other person’s fault, it was just not “meant to be.” I didn’t think relationships required conscious effort and work—if it was the right relationship, shouldn’t it be easy?

Learning about conscious relationships helped me understand what it was I wanted from my relationships. In the book Conscious Loving, Gay and Kathlyn speak to co-commitment as the goal of a conscious relationship, which is when:

“Two or…

There is a tendency to swear off dating those with an avoidant attachment style. After all, isn’t emotional availability a prerequisite to a loving and healthy relationship? For someone with a secure or anxious attachment style, it can be hard to understand why someone would avoid closeness. Isn’t that what love is all about?

Looking at the two different avoidant attachment styles can help us to develop a deeper understanding of avoidant attachment and the ways it shows up in our adult relationships.

It is not as simple as someone choosing to be emotionally unavailable and independent, looking down on…

There is a natural attraction between those with an anxious and those with an avoidant attachment style. You might think that this is one of nature’s cruel tricks. There is no one more triggering to an anxiously attached person than someone avoidant. There is similarly no one who can push an avoidant person’s buttons quite like someone with an anxious attachment stye.

I still remember the sinking feeling in my stomach when the topic of attachment came up on my second date with my current partner. We found out that he was avoidant and I was anxious. It was an…

If you have an anxious or ambivalent attachment style, I don’t have to tell you how stressful love can be. We are all worthy of love, but for those of us who are anxious, it can be hard to believe that we are lovable. Being in a relationship when you are anxious can be a far cry from the safe and secure experience we all hope for.

I remember often feeling as though I “had it all together” when I was single. I would feel confident and in control of my anxiety — positive that I was finally ready for…

I still remember the words of a writer on Medium who expressed distaste towards those writing about dating and relationships amid political upheaval, climate change, and global suffering. Maybe they thought it was frivolous or self-indulgent, or just a waste of space on the internet. I understand where they were coming from, but for someone writing about relationships, it still stung. I also think this individual was wrong.

Love matters now more than ever. If we can’t find and nurture love in our own lives, how are we supposed to love the world? Our community? Maybe some can have crumbling…

Humor | Lifestyle

I must confess: I love my dog more than most people. I don’t think this is all that unusual for us dog-lovers though, is it? My dog doesn’t hold grudges, he greets each day with enthusiasm and cheer, and he is always inspiring me with his endless supply of love. My love for my dog has become a bit overwhelming, though. I’m completely and unabashedly obsessed with him.

The definition of obsession is “an idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person’s mind,” and in many contexts, this can be a painful and debilitating state. …

Knowing depression from the inside-out doesn’t make it any easier to be there for someone who is depressed. If anything, it makes it far worse. I imagine my loved one in the hole that I somehow found my way out of and my heart breaks.

I remember depression’s weight made it hard to get out of bed on even the most beautiful Saturday afternoons in July. The sun became an obnoxious reminder of what I should be doing and a sharp contrast to my inner state. I wanted to forget about the possibility of the day and everyone out there…