4 Unconscious Relationship Habits

And how they get in the way of love

Photo by Emily Ferris who you can find on IG at emilyeverywhere

The first time I read about the concept of conscious relationships I felt a mixture of hope and despair. For one, it allowed me to believe that it was possible to have a relationship that is healthy, safe, and even supports growth and inspires creativity. On the other hand, the state of my current relationships was so far from the definition of “conscious” that I felt a wave of shame wash over me.

Learning I was the definition of “unconscious” when it came to love felt like a punch in the gut. It was also a wake up call to begin untangling unhealthy patterns and to begin imagining what love could look like if I took responsibility for how I was showing up in my relationships.

I am going to be summarizing some of the information presented in Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment by Dr. Gay Hendricks and Dr. Kathlyn Hendricks. They outline 9 traps of unconscious loving before they get into their steps towards co-commitment which they describe as the following:

“A co-committed relationship is one in which two or more people support each other in being whole, complete individuals. The commitment is to go all the way, to letting the relationship be the catalyst for the individuals to express their full potential and creativity. In a co-committed…